Jealousy turns me on

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This is eight weeks output. Go hard or go home, right?

 

Well, I hope jealousy turns me on because today all I’ve got is envy.

Jealousy is not pretty. It’s uglier still if it’s your kid you’re jealous of.

Here’s the problem. I’m on my second novel, I’m about a third of the way into the first draft and I am stuck. I have to do something particular to the main character and I haven’t figured out how. It’s one scene, dammit! I’ve written past the scene, I’ve made notes around it, I’ve got on the phone, and I’ve stared into space – all the appropriate action and still it won’t come.

And I have my youngest (I call him Stephen King Junior) churning out books like his little life depends on it. He is prolific and I’m jealous.

He’s into story, words, though he reckons good spelling is a waste of time. He illustrates his work and that’s seeped into my psyche because I was never planning to put photos on my blog… He’s got boxes and boxes of the books he has made, and a filing cabinet. He’s only ten. We’re going to need a bigger house.

I’m not meant to be blogging today. I dropped my sons at school and came straight home to get right into it. I walked into my room and there on my computer were the two books he made this morning before school!

I smiled when I saw them. Smiled at my son’s creativity and abundance and at the books themselves (lately it’s mash-ups of Dragon Ball Z and Superman). And I smiled at the mixed feelings I’m having. He’s shaming me, he impresses me and he’s making me envious because I used to write like that!

Jealousy isn’t always a curse.

If I’m smart, I can use my envy as motivation. There’s positivity in all this. My son writes because he loves it. How much he loves writing makes me remember how much I love writing.

He’s wonderful, he’s amazing. I can be amazing.

This morning I told Stephen King Jnr I’d have words this afternoon. I said that I had to catch up because he was not the only writer in this house.

‘That’s good Mummy,’ he said and went on to tell me his next big idea.

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Peace to you, beautiful boy.

 

 

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